If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

85 shares on Messenger this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.