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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Trending via WeChat:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.
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Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of college life – where painful lessons are learned both in and out of the classroom! 🌶️🎓 Remember, folks: knowledge is power, and pepper spray is just a temporary inconvenience! 😅 #CollegeLifeLessons

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

27 shares on Slack this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

68 shares on Slack this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

62 shares on X this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Seen just now on X:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Making waves on Slack:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Just landed via TikTok:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Spreading quickly via X:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Just landed via Messenger:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Going bananas on TikTok:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

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