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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Making waves on Telegram:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Breaking via TikTok:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

4 days ago

Witty quote about college life and pepper spray discomfort, humorous and playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of college life – where painful lessons are learned both in and out of the classroom! 🌶️🎓 Remember, folks: knowledge is power, and pepper spray is just a temporary inconvenience! 😅 #CollegeLifeLessons

college, couple, experience, humor, i, learning, pepper, pepper spray, spray, sting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

46 shares on X this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

56 shares on Slack this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Trending via TikTok:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Live now on WhatsApp:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Just shared via X:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

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