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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Spreading quickly via X:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Live now on X:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Going viral on Telegram:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Spotted on Instagram:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

2 months ago

0

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🧮 "When faced with challenging math problems, some people fold under the pressure… while others embrace it with sass! 💁‍♂️💡 Posting online with an air of mystery, claiming 'Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem' – oh, the drama, the suspense! 🤓🤫 Who knew math could come with its own hint of mischief?"

challenge, clever, difficult, humor, i, math, me, online, post, problem, problems, solve, statistic, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

0

3 months ago

alike, great, great mind, humor, irony, mind, minds, ones, stupid, stupid mind, think, think alike, unfortunately, wit
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

0

2 months ago

energy, full, humor, know, me, moment, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, relatable, routine, wait, work
Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

0

2 months ago

car, dark, dark humor, ever, hit, hospital, humor, injury, month, mood, sarcasm, spend
You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

0

2 months ago

babe, conversation, date, expectations, humor, me, okay, promise, relationship
Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

0

5 months ago

chew, chewing, day, habit, humor, men, nostalgia, toothpick
Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

0

2 months ago

asleep, dark, humor, know, moment, morning, need, sleep, state, sweater, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

88 shares on X this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,292

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Making waves on WeChat:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Just shared via Telegram:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Seen just now on Discord:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Breaking via Slack:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Making waves on TikTok:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Trending via Discord:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Just shared via Twitch:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

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