Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Making waves on Threads:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Making waves on Messenger:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Freshly posted on X:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Just landed via Reddit:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Just shared via Facebook:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

2 months ago

0

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🧮 "When faced with challenging math problems, some people fold under the pressure… while others embrace it with sass! 💁‍♂️💡 Posting online with an air of mystery, claiming 'Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem' – oh, the drama, the suspense! 🤓🤫 Who knew math could come with its own hint of mischief?"

challenge, clever, difficult, humor, i, math, me, online, post, problem, problems, solve, statistic, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

0

2 months ago

back, cheer, cheers, comfort, comfort food, eating, food, gain, humor, me, right, sad, sadness, self-deprecation, weight, weight gain
Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

0

2 months ago

attitude, better, confidence, dating, flirt, girl, humor, interest, nobody, zero
Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

0

3 days ago

enemy, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, store
Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

0

2 months ago

cargo, cargo pocket, closet, everything, humor, left, man, marriage, married, once, over, pocket, relationship, stereotypes, storage, stores, woman
Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

0

4 months ago

5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where
Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

0

2 months ago

away, clothing, days, funny observation, humor, know, minimalism, observation, packing, people, short, short trip, travel, trip, vacation, worth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

44 shares on Reddit this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,276

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Making waves on Slack:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Making waves on Discord:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴