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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,879

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Just shared via X:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Just shared via Discord:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Trending via Twitch:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Live now on Slack:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Just shared via Facebook:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

2 months ago

0

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like one hair care product in this duo has commitment issues! 🚿💔 Either the shampoo is playing hard to get or the conditioner is getting too clingy. Time to investigate this sudsy soap opera! 💁‍♂️ #HairCareDrama"

bathroom, conditioner, conspiracy, finish, grooming, humor, joke, relationship, same, shampoo, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

0

2 weeks ago

around, bright, brightness, Christmas, Christmas light, here, holiday, humor, light, lights, only, personality, sarcasm, thing
You’re never alone. There’s mold.

0

2 months ago

alone, companionship, humor, loneliness, mold, never
Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

0

2 months ago

geometry, humor, just, math, mean, prove, scam, triangle
When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

0

5 months ago

attraction, compliment, empathy, humor, intelligence, kindness, personality, personality traits, sexy, traits
Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

0

2 months ago

after, away, back, bed, comfort, coming, coziness, days, homecoming, own, personal, personal space, relaxation, resting, retreat, sleep, space
One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

0

2 months ago

30, adulthood, age, celery, day, diet, eating, food, humor, kale, lunch, pizza, salad

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

98 shares on X this month:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

99 shares on X this month:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,072

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Just landed via X:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Going viral on WeChat:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Trending via Threads:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Making waves on Reddit:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

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