Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Seen just now on X:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Just landed via Instagram:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Live now on Threads:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Shared recently on X:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Breaking via Twitch:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

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Commentary:
"If trees had Wi-Fi, we'd have forests full of 'hotspots' and 'root-ming' networks 🌲📶 But nah, they just keep recycling boring ol' oxygen like it's a big deal or something 🌳💨 #SorryMotherNature"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

82 shares on Slack this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Making waves on Facebook:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Just shared via Twitch:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Seen just now on Threads:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Trending via Threads:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Making waves on Pinterest:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

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