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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Breaking via X:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Going bananas on Threads:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Trending via Slack:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Just landed via Slack:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Making waves on Threads:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about late-night snacking and fridge light curiosity, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why is there a light in the fridge if we're not supposed to snack late at night? 🤔 Maybe it's there to spotlight our midnight cravings and illuminate the path to temptation! 🌟🍕 Who needs self-control when you have a fridge light guiding the way to deliciousness? 😂 #LateNightSnackAttacks"

food, fridge, humor, late, light, logic, night, snacking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

64 shares on X this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Just shared via YouTube:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Going bananas on X:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Going viral on Facebook:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Going viral on Reddit:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

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