Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

18 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Shared recently on Telegram:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Reported on Twitch:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Trending via Messenger:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

6 months ago

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why is there a light in the fridge if we're not supposed to snack late at night? 🤔 Maybe it's there to spotlight our midnight cravings and illuminate the path to temptation! 🌟🍕 Who needs self-control when you have a fridge light guiding the way to deliciousness? 😂 #LateNightSnackAttacks"

food, fridge, humor, late, light, logic, night, snacking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

18 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Trending via Twitch:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Just landed via X:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴