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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Going viral on Discord:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Breaking via YouTube:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Making waves on Pinterest:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Witty quote about honesty and gossip with a playful, humorous tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old game of 'He said, she said' just got real spicy! 🔥 Who will emerge victorious in this duel of truth and lies? Stay tuned for some juicy drama! 🍿😂 #SideEffectsOfSpreadingRumors"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

40 shares on Discord this month:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Salary week, but salary weak.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,743

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Live now on Reddit:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Just landed via YouTube:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Seen just now on X:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Trending via X:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

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