Trendy Funny Quotes

  • It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.
  • I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.
  • My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.
  • I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.
  • Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.
  • Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.