Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Trending via Reddit:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Shared recently on X:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Making waves on Threads:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Trending via WeChat:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Just shared via Twitch:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
☕ "I'm not addicted to coffee. We're just in a committed relationship. I even know all its little beans' secrets! 😉☕ #CoffeeLove"

addicted, addiction, close, coffee, humor, just, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

0

2 months ago

celebration, Christmas, focus, humor, matter, new, new year, posts, priorities, self-promotion, things, year
It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

0

2 months ago

desk, dining, eating, front, fun, getting, hamburger, humor, i, indulgence, just, love, luxury, mirror, restaurant, room, room service, service, solo, solo dining
Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

0

2 months ago

animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think
Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, count, disorientation, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, phone, phone addiction, screen, screen time, should, technology, technology humor, time
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

0

2 months ago

attitude, call, humor, i, lazy, motivation, participation, procrastination, selective, selective participation, ugly, ugly word, word
Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

0

2 months ago

going, i, pass, phone, stay, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

40 shares on Slack this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Live now on Instagram:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Just landed via YouTube:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Live now on Threads:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Trending via Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨