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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Freshly posted on X:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Spotted on Threads:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Trending via TikTok:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Trending via YouTube:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Playful quote about confidently explaining being right, with a witty and humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, if explaining why you're right isn't arguing, then I guess I've been having some pretty intense discussions with myself in the mirror every morning!"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Going viral on YouTube:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Live now on Facebook:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Spotted on Threads:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Going viral on Facebook:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Just shared via Instagram:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

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