I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.