Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

And is this โ€œyear-end bonusโ€ in the room with us right now?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I think you misunderstood โ€“ when I said, โ€œLet me look into it,โ€ that meant, โ€œI donโ€™t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has downloaded:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Just landed via YouTube:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Just shared via TikTok:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Spotted on Discord:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Going viral on Telegram:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Live now on Reddit:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Iโ€™m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Playful quote about being famously slow, with a witty twist on speed and punctuality.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Always chasing that finish line at the speed of light… only it's the snooze button I race against โฑ๏ธ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ #RunningLateOlympics"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Salary week, but salary weak.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fitness influencer: Itโ€™s important to listen to your body. Body: Youโ€™re old. And you want lasagna.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

63 shares on Threads this month:

What doesnโ€™t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

39 shares on X this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

59 shares on Slack this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you donโ€™t care enough about it.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

What a lot of people donโ€™t understand about mountain climbing is that donโ€™t do that.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If youโ€™re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry, but if youโ€™re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, youโ€™re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if youโ€™re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, Iโ€™m thinking enemy.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Of course thereโ€™s birth control for men. Itโ€™s called the way they act.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

If Pokรฉmon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

If I say I love you, itโ€™s just the apocalypse talking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Slack:

Sure, Iโ€™m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Just landed via YouTube:

โ€œI have a favourite holeโ€, me, at the pool table.

Making waves on Threads:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Just landed via YouTube:

Me: Iโ€™m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you donโ€™t fall in love with me, Iโ€™ll write poetry about you and then youโ€™ll regret it.

Breaking via YouTube:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Just shared via YouTube:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks itโ€™s night time and goes to sleep.

Seen just now on Threads:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด