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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Shared recently on Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Trending via Slack:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Going viral on Threads:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Breaking via Discord:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Just shared via Twitch:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

6 months ago

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that's a fruitbowl of paradox! 🤔🍉 Are they secretly growing seedless seeds? Do they have a seed black market? Or maybe unicorns are involved in this melon mystery? 🦄🌱 It truly is a riddle wrapped in a watermelon 🍉, or should I say, a seedless mystery wrapped in green! Let's just enjoy the melons and leave the seed sourcing to the pros! 🌟

fruit, gardening, humor, irony, logic, plant, question, seeds, watermelon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Making waves on X:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Trending via Instagram:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Trending via Telegram:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Spotted on Threads:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

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