I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?