Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs comedy when you have the suspense of shopping for toothpaste? 😱 Don't let those sneaky minty flavors trick you – choose wisely or face the consequences! 😬 #ToothpasteTerror"

buying, commercial, commercials, humor, i, me, scare, something, terrified, tired, toothpaste, trying, want, wrong

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

91 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Just landed via Telegram:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Broadcasted on X:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Just landed via Twitch:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Breaking via Messenger:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Breaking via WeChat:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Live now on Discord:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨