Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.
  • Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.
  • Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.
  • I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.
  • I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.
  • I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?