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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Just shared via X:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Spreading quickly via X:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Spotted on Telegram:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Spotted on WeChat:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

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In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.
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Commentary:
Well, isn't that a spicy twist on immunization terminology! 🌶️🇬🇧 Sounds like a shot of flavor to complement your tea and crumpets. Who knew staying healthy could also add some zest to your vocabulary! 🫣🍵

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

31 shares on X this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

82 shares on X this month:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,575

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Breaking via YouTube:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Breaking via TikTok:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

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