Commentary:
The bullet is now in a witness protection program! 😅🔫🕶️
12 Funny shot quotes
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Commentary:
Looks like hydration just needs a rebranding! 🍻💧😆
Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.
Commentary:
Taking life one shot of wisdom at a time! 🍹😄
Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.
Commentary:
Eyebrow plucking: the ultimate test of male courage! 😂👨🦲🏹
One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮💨 #Bra-dventures"
Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.
Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you have yourself as a critic? 🤷♂️🔫 Go ahead, self, hit me with your best shot! 💥😂"
If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.
Commentary:
"Seems like E.T. missed out on a slam dunk opportunity there! 🏀👽 Just imagine the out-of-this-world alley-oops he could've pulled off! 🌌🤣 #BasketballBuddy"
Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.
Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the joys of trying to explain city life to parents! 🌆🗽 It's like a marathon of geography lessons every time they see something on TV and assume it's happening right next to you. 🏃♂️🗺️ Hang in there, Mom, New York may be big but my street isn't THAT happening! 😂🌃
Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.
Commentary:
"Imagine the #WWI memes and puns 🤣 The assassination that broke the internet before it was even a thing! #HistoryGoneViral 📱💥"
Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'colorful' revenge to a whole new level! 🎨💥 Just remember, revenge is a dish best served… in vibrant shades! 😜🌈"