Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”
  • Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”
  • I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.
  • Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.
  • Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.
  • I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.