Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer. 🍁 Time for pumpkin spice lattes to cover up the evidence, am I right?! ☕️🎃 #FallVibes"

diet, fall, humor, i, seasons, self-image, stomach, struggle, suck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

0

2 months ago

face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf
Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

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1 month ago

accident, before, clothing, daily, daily life, humor, i, just, life, matter, myself, pants, something, spill, time, today, wardrobe, white, white pants
This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, funny gift, gift, give, holiday, humor, joke, last, lifetime, pet, tortoise, unique, unique gift
Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

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2 months ago

away, home, humor, irony, paper, piece, receipt, shopping, take, throw, throwaway, tiny, waste
Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, days, exhaustion, humor, i, lazy, need, pretty, rest, sleep
Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

0

2 months ago

culture, disappointment, entertainment, exactly, expectation, humor, joke, know, lol, movie, Netflix, pop, pop culture, streaming

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

65 shares on Discord this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

15 shares on X this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

40 shares on X this month:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Spotted on Threads:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Trending via YouTube:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Live now on TikTok:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨