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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Spotted on Discord:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Making waves on TikTok:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Seen just now on Messenger:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

2 months ago

0

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about commitment! It's impressive that your bad mood has withstood the test of time like a resilient warrior 😠⏳ Keep on rocking those grumpy vibes, you've definitely mastered the art of longevity in the mood department! 😂👏"

2010, bad, bad mood, humor, long time, mood, negativity, period, sarcasm, time, time period

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

0

2 months ago

activity, comparison, eating, flying, food, food humor, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, joke, opposite, wings
If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

0

2 months ago

drink, humor, Jason, juice, Mimosa, Momoa, orange, orange juice, pun, wordplay
Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

0

2 months ago

actually, customer, customer service, customers, facade, fake, fake laugh, humor, job, job skill, laugh, laughing, professional, professional facade, service, skill, social, social skill, workplace, workplace humor
Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, asleep, awake, day, fall, humor, just, night, sleep, stay, trying
Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

0

2 months ago

activity, believe, childhood, found, fun, fun activity, hard, holiday, lap, me, nostalgia, picture, Santa, sitting, whole, year
Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

0

2 months ago

brain, doing, effort, good, hard, humor, humor quote, i, job, know, mental, mental effort, self-awareness, self-deprecating, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

98 shares on X this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

15 shares on Threads this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Spotted on Threads:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Trending via WeChat:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Freshly posted on X:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Going viral on Messenger:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

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