Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.
  • I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.
  • If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.
  • Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.
  • Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?
  • During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.