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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Going bananas on Discord:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it. 🌪️ Remember, it's the one accessory you can do without! 😂"

advice, anger, else, humor, keep, nobody, patience, temper, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

0

2 months ago

arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy
Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

0

2 months ago

almost, bear, bears, candy, common, comparison, funny observation, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, humor, nothing, observation, worm
Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, doing, ending, even, humor, irony, laziness, lot, love, motivation, plans, procrastination, productivity, things, wanting, yay
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

0

2 months ago

energy-saving, energy-saving mode, humor, lazy, mode, motivation, procrastination, productivity, relaxation
That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

0

2 months ago

5pm, afternoon, humor, joke, nap, sleep, tiredness, urge
If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

0

4 months ago

delete, disappear, humor, i, identity, media, online, online identity, should, social, social media, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Just landed via X:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Shared recently on Messenger:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Going viral on Slack:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Going viral on Reddit:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Trending via Twitch:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨