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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

4,057

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Seen just now on Slack:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Just landed via Facebook:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Making waves on Instagram:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Trending via Facebook:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Breaking via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Trending via Instagram:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

2 months ago

0

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare and mysterious phenomenon of 'family time' emerges when the Internet takes a vacation! 😂 Who knew that bunch you live with are actually halfway decent humans? 🤔 Maybe the Wi-Fi outage was a blessing in disguise after all! 🌐👨‍👩‍👦"

family, funny situation, good, good people, humor, i, internet, last, night, people, situation, spent, time, time spent, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

0

2 months ago

birth, existential, humor, irony, life, mistake, self-deprecation
My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

0

2 months ago

cry, crying, expense, finance, humor, joke, me, money, onion, opening, sarcasm, wallet
Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

0

2 months ago

daylight, daylight saving, holiday, just, made-up, saving, savings, sell
I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

0

2 months ago

always, am, confirm, confirmation, door, doors, dumb, humor, i, pull, push, self-deprecation, three, times
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, dispatch, event, feeling, FOMO, going, going out, hear, humor, knowing, once, opposite, regret, right, social, social event, somewhere
Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

0

3 weeks ago

accent, Chinese, Chinese accent, cracking, funny prayer, God, humor, laughter, prayer, praying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

32 shares on X this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

29 shares on Slack this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

81 shares on TikTok this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At least life has music.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Making waves on Facebook:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Just landed via Threads:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Going viral on Reddit:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Shared recently on Threads:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Going viral on Messenger:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

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