Trendy Funny Quotes

  • There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.
  • The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.
  • There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.
  • Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.
  • Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.
  • I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.