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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Going viral on Telegram:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Shared recently on Reddit:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Going viral on Twitch:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Making waves on Discord:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

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Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.
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Commentary:
Haha, those mice sure know how to handle a breakup in style! 🐭😂 Looks like they're not willing to deal with any more drama in their tiny rodent-sized relationships. Time to move on to greener cheese fields! 🧀🌿 #SqueakyCleanBreakups

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being a little freak is my love language.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Seen just now on Discord:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I am single, please disturb me!

Seen just now on Telegram:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

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