Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.
  • I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.
  • Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?
  • The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.
  • Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.
  • Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.