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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Trending via Facebook:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Trending via YouTube:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Seen just now on Instagram:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Making waves on Discord:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

0
My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶🍃 "Wow, a real-life canine botanist in the making! 🕵️‍♂️ Who knew your furry friend had such a knack for leafy pursuits? 🌿 Forget fetch, we've now moved on to foliage hunting! 🍂🔎"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

31 shares on TikTok this month:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,793

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Live now on Reddit:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Just landed via Twitch:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Breaking via Reddit:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Just shared via TikTok:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Just shared via YouTube:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

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