Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Shared recently on X:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Going viral on Threads:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going viral on Messenger:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶🍃 "Wow, a real-life canine botanist in the making! 🕵️‍♂️ Who knew your furry friend had such a knack for leafy pursuits? 🌿 Forget fetch, we've now moved on to foliage hunting! 🍂🔎"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

68 shares on Discord this month:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

21 shares on Discord this month:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

98 shares on Slack this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Live now on Instagram:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Just shared via Facebook:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Just landed via Telegram:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Spotted on Threads:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

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