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Looks like your relationship with the demon just got spiritually complicated! 😈💔 Time to swipe right on a new possession, perhaps? Who knows, maybe your exorcist will be ghosting demons left and right! 👻 #DemonDatingDrama

demon, demons, ex, exorcist, humor, joke, relationship, should

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At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

1 month ago

adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show
When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

2 months ago

age, ageism, compliments, devastating, flattering, guessing, humor, kids, perception
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

1 month ago

doll, humor, making, request, stop, voodoo, voodoo doll, work
Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

1 month ago

dislike, everything, food, humor, invention, meal, picked, plate, put, salad, separation, someone
I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

2 months ago

communication, face, humor, i, love, people, punching, sarcasm, wit, words
Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

5 months ago

around, cheese, dairy, food, food idea, funny thought, humor, idea, joke, religion, starting, thinking, thought

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

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My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

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The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

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As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

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Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

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Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

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If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

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I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

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After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

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My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

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Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

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If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

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Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

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My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

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My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

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