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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Making waves on TikTok:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Freshly posted on Slack:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Going viral on X:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Making waves on Twitch:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Spotted on WeChat:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Seen just now on X:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

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My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like he unintentionally played the ultimate hide-and-seek game with his own coat! 🧥🤦‍♂️ Maybe his coat is just too good at blending in with the rest of the closet. Time for some coat training sessions! 🤣 #CoatMystery

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

32 shares on Threads this month:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

71 shares on X this month:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Making waves on Threads:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Seen just now on X:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

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