Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Seen just now on X:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Shared recently on Threads:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Spotted on Messenger:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Just shared via Threads:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about dryness, comparing flaky skin to giving a PowerPoint presentation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like your skin is ready to give the most captivating presentation of the year! 💁‍♂️💼✨ Who knew dry skin could be so professional? Maybe it's time to moisturize and upgrade from PowerPoint to a TED talk! 💻🌟 #DrySkinGoals"

comedy, doing, dry, humor, joke, PowerPoint, presentation, skin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WeChat this month:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

92 shares on Messenger this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Going bananas on Threads:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Going viral on Twitch:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Just landed via Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Breaking via Telegram:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Breaking via Twitch:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

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