Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,820

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Just shared via X:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Making waves on X:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Making waves on Discord:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Spotted on Threads:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Breaking via Facebook:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Making waves on Facebook:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Making waves on Twitch:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

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My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.
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Commentary:
"Looks like your skin is ready to give the most captivating presentation of the year! 💁‍♂️💼✨ Who knew dry skin could be so professional? Maybe it's time to moisturize and upgrade from PowerPoint to a TED talk! 💻🌟 #DrySkinGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

60 shares on Slack this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Just landed via Slack:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Freshly posted on Threads:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Spotted on WeChat:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Trending via YouTube:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Just shared via Telegram:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

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