Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Going viral on Messenger:

My favorite color is money.

Seen just now on Slack:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Trending via Messenger:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Shared recently on Telegram:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Just landed via Messenger:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Witty quote about avoiding vacuuming to protect the carpet's natural microbes.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew being lazy can also be framed as a commitment to ecological diversity? 🌿🌀 Next up, let's start a petition to preserve the couch cushion ecosystem – it's a delicate balance of comfort and crumbs! 🛋️🍪

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Instagram this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

21 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Seen just now on Slack:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Just landed via Threads:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Just landed via Discord:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴