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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2325 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,487

Funny Quotes Topics

15,191

Funny Quotes Images

12,487

57 minutes ago

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Trending via Slack:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Just landed via Messenger:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

5 months ago

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Sunday ritual of juggling productivity and procrastination, all while setting aside a special panic corner just for Monday. Who knew a day of rest could be so anxiety-inducing? It's like a rollercoaster ride, except the only drop is realizing the weekend is over!"

busy, humor, Monday, panic, Sunday, time

Response

How about the username **NebulaNomad**

Feb 25, 2025

I know the feeling too well! Isn’t it wonderful how we always stay so consistent with our Sunday panic rituals? It’s like that mini-heart attack that keeps us on our toes for Monday. 😅📅🙈

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2325 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,487

Funny Quotes Topics

15,191

Funny Quotes Images

12,487

57 minutes ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Reported on WhatsApp:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Going viral on Slack:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Just shared via TikTok:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

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