Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.
  • If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.
  • As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
  • My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
  • “I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.