Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.