Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Trending via Slack:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Just shared via Snapchat:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Trending via Telegram:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Shared recently on X:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Breaking via Messenger:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Spotted on X:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

2 months ago

0

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the perils of literacy! 📚🤦‍♂️ Who knew that mastering the ABCs could lead to such chaos and calamity? Farewell, blissful ignorance; hello, endless bookshelves of doom! 📖😅 Remember, it's all fun and games until you discover the labyrinth that is the English language! Best of luck navigating the treacherous waters of reading! 🌊🔍

drama, education, humor, irony, learning, life, read, reading, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

0

4 months ago

anyone, dating, fall, humor, love, relationship, rent, romance, roommate, want
Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

0

2 months ago

activity, befriending, bird, communication, crow, funny activity, handwritten, handwritten note, humor, love, love note, note, notes, teaching
Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

0

2 months ago

admit, doze, doze off, humor, men, sleep, stereotype, wakefulness, why, wrong
My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

0

2 months ago

American, cigarette, cigarettes, culture, humor, identity, name, native, Native American, smoke
Double chins are better than double faces.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image
I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

0

4 months ago

calling, everything, grok, guy, humor, i, know-it-all, knows, new, new guy, nickname, office, started, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

66 shares on X this month:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

28 shares on Slack this month:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Spotted on WeChat:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Spotted on Discord:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Making waves on Reddit:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Freshly posted on X:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Making waves on Facebook:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Going viral on YouTube:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Trending via X:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴