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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and Iโ€™ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Snapchat:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Iโ€™ve reached a point in my life where if I canโ€™t find parking, Iโ€™m just going to go home.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If Spotify has taught me anything, itโ€™s that I donโ€™t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Breaking via Slack:

Canโ€™t, holding a grudge.

Just landed via Telegram:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, โ€œWhy are you sitting in the dark?โ€ and then flipped the light on without asking.

Making waves on Reddit:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.
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Commentary:
Oh, the perils of literacy! ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ Who knew that mastering the ABCs could lead to such chaos and calamity? Farewell, blissful ignorance; hello, endless bookshelves of doom! ๐Ÿ“–๐Ÿ˜… Remember, it's all fun and games until you discover the labyrinth that is the English language! Best of luck navigating the treacherous waters of reading! ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ”

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

If I had a bf, Iโ€™d be a gf.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Reported on Messenger:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Making waves on Instagram:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Trending via Telegram:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasnโ€™t for them.

Reported on Instagram:

Everyone is getting idioter.

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