Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

63 shares on Telegram this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.