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Commentary:
"Breaking news: Celebrities defy expectations by not following your daily death predictions! Stay tuned for more shocking revelations 🤯📺 #ExpectTheUnexpected"

always, analysis, celebrity, claim, data, day, death, die, expectation, humor, irony, love, people, unexpected

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15 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

39 shares on Discord this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Just landed via Slack:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Just shared via Slack:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Spotted on X:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Going viral on Threads:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨