Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Going viral on Discord:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Shared recently on Threads:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Spotted on Discord:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Trending via Slack:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Just landed via Instagram:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Spotted on Telegram:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Witty and playful quote about embracing happiness with a fun twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, who needs normal when you can have happy with a twist? Embrace your unique flavor and let the world wonder how you take your happiness served!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

90 shares on Threads this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

12 shares on Threads this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Live now on Messenger:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Trending via Snapchat:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Making waves on Reddit:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Breaking via Instagram:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

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