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Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but weird is a state of mind – and I've been rocking it since day one! 🤪 Embrace your inner weirdo, it's what keeps life interesting – just ask my collection of mismatched socks! 🧦😜"

age, always, humor, me, older, people, personality, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

1

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

0

2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, fitness, humor, i, irony, laziness, motivation, stand, technology, want, watch
We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

0

2 months ago

bubble, bubble wrap, childish, distraction, fun, humor, mature, playfulness, someone, wrap
Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

0

2 months ago

color, comparison, ever, frustration, humor, life, metaphor, red, red wine, shirt, spill, white, wine
Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

0

2 months ago

approval, decision, decisions, humor, independent, independent decision, making, new, new year, resolution, waiting, wife, year
If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

0

2 months ago

bird, humor, i, ID, know, playful, poop, revenge, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on X this month:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

37 shares on Threads this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Shared recently on Discord:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Spotted on Telegram:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Spotted on YouTube:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨