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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Reported on Facebook:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Spotted on Instagram:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Live now on Telegram:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Spotted on X:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Breaking via Discord:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Going viral on TikTok:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.
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Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but weird is a state of mind – and I've been rocking it since day one! 🤪 Embrace your inner weirdo, it's what keeps life interesting – just ask my collection of mismatched socks! 🧦😜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Going viral on Telegram:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Just landed via WeChat:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Making waves on Reddit:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Spotted on Discord:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

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