That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.