Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
  • I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.
  • Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.
  • At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.
  • I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.
  • Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.