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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Just landed via TikTok:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Going viral on Telegram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Going viral on Telegram:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Just shared via X:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Just shared via Slack:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.
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Commentary:
"Life's full of contradictions! 🌍🦪 When your dreams clash with your allergies, it's time to embrace the unexpected adventures that come your way! 🤪 #AllergicToSuccessButNotToGoodTimes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Reported on Reddit:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Going viral on YouTube:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Reported on Facebook:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

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