Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.
  • God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.
  • When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.
  • If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.
  • I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.
  • The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.