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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Making waves on WeChat:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Just shared via Slack:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

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There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, this person's charm is so powerful that it can induce not just any effect, but migraines! 💁🏻‍♀️💥 Might need to reconsider their flirting techniques…or invest in some extra-strength pain relief! 🤕😂 #PowerfulButPainful"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

66 shares on Slack this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Trending via Slack:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Shared recently on X:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Making waves on Threads:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

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