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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has copied:

50 shades of single.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has viewed:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has downloaded:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has copied:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,580

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on X:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Going viral on Telegram:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Going viral on YouTube:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Spotted on Facebook:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

This alien invasion could have been an email.

0
This alien invasion could have been an email.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
πŸ‘½πŸ“§ "Instead of invading Earth with flashy spaceships and tentacled creatures, couldn't they have just sent a polite email? Much less dramatic and far more cost-effective. Let's hope they remember proper intergalactic email etiquette next time! πŸ›ΈπŸ‘Ύ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

46 shares on Slack this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with β€œJesus Christ”.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has copied:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has viewed:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Outlook just asked me if I’m β€œenjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Lois Lane said, β€œClark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Shared recently on Threads:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Going viral on Slack:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Just shared via Reddit:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Trending via Facebook:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Shared recently on Twitch:

β€œNever let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Going bananas on TikTok:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Going viral on Twitch:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

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