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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Going viral on X:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Spotted on Messenger:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Broadcasted on X:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Going viral on Discord:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Just landed via Messenger:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Funny quote about movies, highlighting that "V for Vendetta" isn't an educational film for kids.
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Commentary:
Looks like V had other plans than teaching the ABCs! 🤣🔥 Who needs the alphabet when you have revolutionary ideas and a cool mask, right? #EducationalFail #VforVendettaButNotforAlphabet

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

16 shares on X this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

78 shares on Slack this month:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake me when AI does housework.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Just landed via TikTok:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Just landed via Facebook:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Going viral on Discord:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Going viral on Threads:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Just shared via Discord:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Going viral on WeChat:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Live now on Threads:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

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