What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

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The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

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So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

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There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

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Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

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My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

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The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

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Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

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Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

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Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

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Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.