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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Breaking via WeChat:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Just shared via Twitch:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Making waves on WeChat:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Going bananas on Discord:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote imagining work meetings in a giant IKEA ball pit for fun.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the brainstorming sessions – diving deep into ideas and cushions simultaneously! 💭🛋️ Can't decide if we should build team rapport or a new shelf first… 🤔💡 Who knew that bright yellow balls could spark such creative breakthroughs? 🟡🔮 #ProductivityinStyle"

activity, ball, ball pit, creativity, fun, giant, IKEA, meeting, pit, place, work, work meeting, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being insane should at least burn calories.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Spotted on WeChat:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Spotted on X:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Just shared via WeChat:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Going viral on Telegram:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Breaking via X:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Spotted on Threads:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Just landed via Twitch:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

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