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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Going viral on Facebook:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Making waves on Threads:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about summer heat humorously suggesting humidity smooths out wrinkles.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Mother Nature missed the memo on wrinkle-removal services! 🌞😅 Maybe a tropical spa day is in order! 🌴💆‍♂️ #HumidityHavoc

aging, body, heat, humidity, humor, self-deprecation, steam, think, wrinkles

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47 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

78 shares on Discord this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Trending via Facebook:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Just landed via TikTok:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Broadcasted on Discord:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Making waves on Threads:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Spotted on Messenger:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Making waves on Discord:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

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Activity Log ✨

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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