50+ Funny Friendship Jokes That Prove Your Besties Are Pure Comedy Gold

New funny friendship jokes

• School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

• Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

• Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

• Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

• Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

• Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

• Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

• Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

• Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

• A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Top funny friendship jokes

• Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

• I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

• Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

• You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

• If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

• I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

• I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

• When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

• Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

• If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Popular funny friendship jokes

• Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

• I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

• People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

• You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

• I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

• My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

• Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

• Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

• I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

• I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

More funny friendship jokes

• Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

• The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

• Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

• I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

• Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

• Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

• You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

• We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

• Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

• Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Witty friendship jokes

• Friends with consequences.

• I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

• What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

• Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

• Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

• If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

• Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

• April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

• Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

• Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.