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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

16 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Spotted on Slack:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Making waves on Messenger:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Seen just now on X:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Going viral on Slack:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Spotted on Facebook:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Jan 27, 2025

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🔥 When you've tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don't take the saying "hot body" too literally! 🔥💪

body, crematorium, death, fitness, hope, hot, hot body, humor, irony, joke, last

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

16 minutes ago

3,466

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Breaking via X:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Trending via Reddit:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Just landed via Reddit:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Making waves on Twitch:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

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