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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

God saw you do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

15 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Going viral on Reddit:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Making waves on Messenger:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Live now on Messenger:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Spotted on Instagram:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Spotted on Slack:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

6 months ago

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle between the desire for rest and the annoyance of interruptions! 😴💤 Imagine trying to peacefully drift into the realm of dreams while being bombarded by ads for dream vacations, fluffy pillows, and noise-canceling earplugs. 🚫📺💰 It's like the ultimate marketing strategy – even in the land of nod, you can't escape the sales pitch! 😂✨ #SleepingWithAds

ads, death, free, humor, irony, sleep, trial

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

15 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Making waves on Instagram:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Reported on WhatsApp:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Live now on Slack:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Going viral on WeChat:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

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