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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

19 hours ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Reported on Facebook:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Reported on Facebook:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Breaking via Instagram:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Just landed via Threads:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Just shared via Facebook:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Just shared via Discord:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Just landed via Instagram:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

6 months ago

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Seems like the Three Wise Men were a bit confused on the concept of practical baby gifts 🤔🎁 I mean, gold, frankincense, and myrrh are nice and all, but can you imagine a baby trying to play with that? 😂 Maybe next time they should team up with Santa for some more baby-friendly goodies! 🎅👶 #BabyGiftBlunder

baby, gifts, humor, irony, men, newborn, presents, three, Three Wise Men, wise, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

19 hours ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Reported on Snapchat:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Trending via Threads:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Reported on YouTube:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Making waves on Telegram:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Making waves on Instagram:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

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