Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Seen just now on Twitch:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Time travelers facing tough ethical dilemmas: Do we really need to take down baby Hitler, or can we just catch him in his angsty teenage phase? 🕰️👶💥 #ChronoConundrums"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Reported on Threads:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Shared recently on Discord:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Shared recently on Discord:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Shared recently on Slack:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Live now on Telegram:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Just landed via WeChat:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Live now on Discord:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴