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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2443 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,605

Funny Quotes Topics

15,273

Funny Quotes Images

12,605

57 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Going viral on Threads:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Shared recently on Telegram:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Shared recently on Slack:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Trending via TikTok:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

4 months ago

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, welcome to the edgier side of the internet – where memes wear black and cookies are sprinkled with a hint of existential crisis. 🕶️💻 Embrace the shadows of "The Darker Web," where the ones and zeros are as mysterious as your browsing history. Who needs sunshine when you have encrypted darkness? 🌑🕸️ #KeepingItCryptic

accurate, dark, dark web, description, humor, internet, joke, satire, technology, web

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jan 24, 2025
Share → : I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.
Jan 25, 2025
Share → : Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.
Jan 21, 2025
Share → : The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.
5 months ago
Share → : I wish tree puns were more poplar.
Jan 21, 2025
Share → : Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.
4 months ago
Share → : I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.
2 months ago
Share → : If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.
Jan 22, 2025
Share → : Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2443 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,605

Funny Quotes Topics

15,273

Funny Quotes Images

12,605

57 minutes ago

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Trending via Pinterest:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Just landed via Instagram:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Going viral on Twitch:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Just landed via Threads:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Spotted on Reddit:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

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