50+ Funny Say Quotes That Prove We All Talk Before We Think

New funny say quotes

• Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

• Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

• Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

• My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

• Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

• You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

• Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

• ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

• I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

• I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Top funny say quotes

• “That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

• Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

• People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

• I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

• Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

• There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

• When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

• This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

• Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

• People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Popular funny say quotes

• I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

• I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

• They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

• “I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

• Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

• I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

• When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

• Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

• I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

More funny say quotes

• They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

• I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

• Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

• Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

• Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

• Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

• Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

• If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

• Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

• I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Witty say quotes

• They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

• If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

• Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

• Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

• I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

• When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

• What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

• I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

• Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

• You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Funny say quotes remind us that sometimes what comes out of our mouths is funnier than anything we could’ve planned 😂. Whether it’s a slip of the tongue 😬, a poorly timed joke 🤷‍♀️, or an unfiltered comment that leaves everyone speechless 🤣, talking can be a comedy routine all on its own. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s ever wished they had a rewind button 🔄. So keep talking, keep laughing, and enjoy the funny surprises in what we say 🤪!